Plaintiff sued John Mark Karr a/k/a "The Father," Andrea Yates a/k/a "The Mother," Dylan Klebold a/k/a "The Son," Seung-Hui Cho a/k/a "Foreign Exchange Student," Cousin It a/k/a "The Cousin" and Cujo a/k/a "Family Pet." Plaintiff alleged that defendants and children of the corn kidnapped him and sent him to a Lord of the Flies torture camp deep in the Ozarks to join their family, he had to perform hard slave labor at Wonka's Chocolate Factory, defendants hired Richard Branson, Spaceship One and G. Jetson and sent him in chain gangs to the moon with illegal aliens to shovel rocks, and that Total Recall built a spaceship for Lou Dobbs aliens.